July 23, 2007

Whore Mommy!

Dom and I had an incredible day! We walked to the library, where he traded his summer reading coupon for a prize. Then we went to Starbucks, where I ordered my Venti Decaf, Sugar-Free, Skim, Iced Vanilla Latte and Dom got Chocolate Milk. We sat on the patio to have our drinks, and lots of birds gathered around to entertain the boy.

Then we walked over to the grocery store so I could buy the paper and a case of Diet Coke with Splenda (have you HAD this stuff?). It's a small, standalone neighborhood store. The prices are competitive, but the selection sucks, so we rarely go. They're very kid-friendly - they have hopscotch grids and other sidewalk games painted onto the floors. They also have an old-style mechanical horse kids can ride for a penny . . . and they have a tub of pennies right next to it for the kids to use.

I asked Dom if he wanted to ride the horse, and he reached for it. I took him out of his stroller and put him on. He loved every second of it, and when the ride stopped, he started to whimper. So I quickly plugged it with another penny. When that ride was over, I said, "The horse is tired, honey. We'll ride the horse another time." I put him in the stroller, and all seemed fine.

Until we got to the soda aisle. Dom craned his neck to see around the back of the stroller, looking for the horse. Then he screamed, "WHORE MOMMY, WHORE MOMMY, WHORE MOMMY" repeatedly. When he was done, I noticed that there was an unusual silence in the store. There was no conversation, nobody was ordering at the deli counter, no cash registers were ringing. As I grabbed the case of Diet Coke (with Splenda!), bursts of laughter sprung up from the aisles around me. I managed to check out without looking anyone in the eye.

And that is why I can no longer shop at my neighborhood grocery store.

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